Mindblown: a blog about philosophy.
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Shutting Off
Shut down. The act of switching off from the day is what I’m referring to. It’s hard. Lately I’m having a lot more difficulty doing it. A last night, grabs me in the kitchen, kisses, lots and lots of kisses. My top comes off. My bra comes off. My pants come off. Standing there in…
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Suits and Shirts and Smells
A was getting dressed this morning for a job interview. I sat naked on the sofa and watched. Him standing there in his suit pants, shirt unbuttoned. Smelling good. Hot. I wish I could have tied his tie (I fail in that area) because that would have probably pushed me over the edge. Little things…
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Fear is an asshole
Fear. I’ve been thinking about this. Why do we fear? OR specifically, why do I fear? Intimacy, fear. Do we automatically just fear the things we crave? I find it to be inbuilt at the moment, or maybe it was always this way. I want to talk to A about it, but I have fear.…
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Self
Things that are on my mind. Many things. I am running away. Well more like shutting down and requiring much much space. This is not a bad thing. Lately my sex drive is virtually, well actually it is totally zero. I have no desire to be touched or to touch. Go figure. None. Nada. Wanting…
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Close
I am seriously getting close to coming with A. That is him making me come without my toy. Sex has been different lately, really different. Intimate. Frighteningly so. Intimate. Last couple of days, great sex. A little awkwardness in initiating maybe. I think this is coming from me though. Prob due to my head space…
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That is all
Orgasms. I see lots of them. Other peoples. In 7 years I’ve seen well over 2000. That is all.
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Brain Space
I am fairly fucked in the head this week. No sex. No wanking. Actually no desire what so ever to be touched or to touch another. The boy, I’m sure, is probably freaking out, actually make that an IS freaking out. My body and brain hate me this week, they need down time. Me time.…
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and he’s here
Tony has arrived. Like a whirlwind. It’s not even about him, but what he represents and what he is tied to with me.
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Love
Things that are hard to think about. Don’t think. Unlikely. Things that have been on my mind though? A lot. Relationships scare me. A lot. Claire asked me how I felt the other week, “I’m not sure” was my response. She seems to think that you should just know these things. Maybe she does. But…
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Reports.
I am literally hanging from the ceiling with the need to have sex. Specifically sex also, not masturbation. WANT. Last night, good sex, night before last, really good sex. Almost great. I was close, really damn close.
Got any book recommendations?