Last night, home to relax (as much as possible anyway), late night Lasagne & early to bed (i fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow).
Tonight I have training then am supposed to be meeting with friend for coffee. My brain has been nearing explosion this week.
I got in trouble for coughing in the office yesterday.
My house guest is still with me, a little better the past couple of days, he has been doing dishes, making me coffee in the morning & has been showering. Not to mention becoming a personal alarm clock in the morning “Darling…time to get up, you want coffee”??
A better situation to come home to.
I am looking forward to the weekend but equally frightened about what may be in store for Saturday night, birthday celebrations, hmmm…. bringing people together is always a little overwhelming, in the past there have been limited (if any) problems, but as the years go on our tolerance for one another also diminishes. Try getting a few boys together (some of which you have had “things” with in the past or even currently have “things” with or may be potential for “things”), uh huh – this may well be a recipe for disaster…Or it could just go smoothly. Deep breath Lady, one hell of a big fucking DEEP breath… I have a lot of male friends in general, always have, boys ROCK!! Girls also (some of them) but in a totally different way, feminine girls – hell yeah, girly girls – FUCK OFF! You get me. Generally I find chicks to be totally frustrating company to be around, they whinge, they bitch, don’t get me wrong, so do guys, but guys are just so much easier to get along with, so long as they get the whole friends thing and don’t take the attention in a “lets fuck” sort of way.
Lets talk a little about relationships with the opposite sex of late. As in the sexual “lets fuck/I’m into you in that way” relationships, quite honestly very few really pushing the bit that I need pushed, generally I find them unsatisfying (sexually) and also lacking in personality. I can be a tough one, it takes the right sort of person. This is hard (honestly one night stands are so fucking selfish, sorry guys but you just wanna stick your cock in any hole you can find and fuck it with as much pumping force as possible as quickly as possible). And guys who love giving head are so hard to find (esp.casual encounters), they are either totally into it and with full enthusiasm (a rarity) or they just won’t go there (only with a long-term gf), what the fuck is with that?? I am thinking this is just a single girl sorta problem, maybe?? I have been spoilt in the past with very intimate sexual relationships and experimental partners (I went through a few long term partners before I reached this point in life) and in those relationships the need to totally fulfill your own and your partners desires was on overload, pleasuring them pleasures you. Some days I really miss this.
I think I’ve just got sex on the brain today, house guest means NO “alone” time and I’m nearing insanity, must wank more often!!
Oh yeah, and I broke my vibrator, dammit!
Whilst I’m updating orgasm diary I should make mention of the few experiences in the past few weeks, well I have been a little bit of a slut, so I have been with ‘the boy’ on and off, I also as mentioned in a previous entry somewhere FUCKED some other guy (a good crazy fucking experience, a guy that loves pussy and loves fucking, it was a good experience indeed), then there was an experience with a friend/fuck buddy a week or so after the ‘other guy’, I did receive a very good head job indeed and finally came with the fuck buddy (been waiting for that), after this ‘the boy’ and I caught up and I smooched a Kiwi boy on the front doorstep of a house party that we were at, ‘the boy’ was inside at the party, I then made arrangements to meet with ‘the kiwi’, then a week or so later caught up with ‘the boy’, had sex – not very good, didn’t come, that was frustrating as hell – actually the sex is never that fantastic, then a week later I met up with ‘the kiwi’ whom I went home with – sex not so great either, at least he is a little slower (like ‘the boy’ he doesn’t eat pussy – frustrating) haven’t heard from him since and haven’t wanted to contact him, cant really be bothered with it, then last weekend I was talking to another boy, whom I may be having coffee with tonight, who is kinda into me (i think) and well, I’m just all a little up in the air about what I’m doing with boys at the moment so that is a bit overwhelming, meanwhile whilst all this has been going on I have been talking to another guy online whom I am really into have been having online sex/headjobs/weird Cyber relationship stuff with for months now, and I am into him but he is on the other side of the world, dammit!!! Friend (brief playmate) is getting back with his X which is a head fuck, cause it just really pointed out how much i like him and well that’s the end of the story…
Call me WHORE, I know i been getting about the place, and loving it, but generally finding it unsatisfying (I wonder why? Now really?).
I am going insane.
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