Category: diary
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ZERO
Where are the orgasms? Where is the sex? Where is the anything? My sex drive has dissipated and I’m having a hard time getting it back. ZERO.
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Two steps to the Left. One step Behind.
And no I’m not talking about my ‘behind’. So the joy of Champix and Temazepam. ZERO want to have sex. ZERO want for self pleasure or to give pleasure. THIS IS SHIT. Basically all my brain is saying atm is get the fuck away from me before I explode upon myself or possibly you. It’s…
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Tick Tock
And there was another one of those ‘baby talks’. This is happening a bit of late, not that I’m anti it, I’m probably more for it. My body and brain is screaming for it but A needs longer. My body clock is tick tick ticking, loud and clear. Things with A and I are going…
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years gone. bye.
well, almost. Things are at some sort of stand still. sex minimal. solo satisfactions minimal, almost non existent. Almost semi permanent house guests don’t help either of these things. Add stress into the mix, stress with work, stress with study, stress with self. All of this comes to one big fucking head fuck. Want sex,…
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Every Time
So I’ve slowed on my posting, a little break. Every time A and I fuck, all I think of in that brain of mine is COME COME COME, COME in ME. This simple little thought pushes me well over the edge every time.
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Zero drive for pleasure
Things that are. The personal life. It’s OK. Somewhat lacking in sex lately. Has been this way for a while now. I wonder if it’s laziness on both parts. Just lack lustre. An inability to shut off. Not feeling overly present. Or turned on. Or interested. The other life. It’s OK. Other peoples stories leave…
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Confidence
Confidence. I lack a lot of confidence. A friend use to tell me that the reason I kept so busy was so that I didn’t have to think about all of the other stuff, so I could avoid. Not quite so, but maybe a little. I tend to keep very busy, but it’s about keeping…
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There. I said it.
Things got less adventurous and more intimate. A lot more intimate. “We’re a pretty hard core couple.” A says. “Yeah. We are.” Things took a bit of a dive, a small lull. But it’s on the up. “What was that last night? That was intense. And I don’t mean the head-job.” He says. “I know…
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A Little Bit
I did not get mine the other night. Actually it went sour. There is a bit of this recently. A has head struggles lately, he is anxious. I really just wasn’t into just being penetrated, it felt OK, not great though. It is this way sometimes. Also when he’s been drinking, I really don’t like…
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L Words
The L word. A says, “so I’m gonna say this and it’s probably going to sound lame, cheesy, whatever… [and he pauses] everytime I think that I’m ‘In Love’ with you, a month later I find that it’s changed and it’s more than it was the last month.” I say, “same”. Love. There it is.…