I’m putting you in here because in here you are hidden. Well, hidden from the majority of my daily interactions.
Depression. I’ve had this for a long time now, it comes and goes. Sometimes more intensely than other times. It comes with vivid thoughts on occasion, I feel death. Feel dying. Feel loss. Last night someone said goodbye, I lay in bed, crying. I am yet to know who it was, someone though, stopped to say goodbye to me. A familiar feeling of intense loneliness, sadness, regrets.
Today I feel drained.
Thoughts of endings, of wanting to leave are on my mind, furiously chipping away at the back of my mind. Flashes. My life comes in and out, fear. Lots of fear, just hanging on to a very frail thread. Thoughts of endings are strong today.
My body and brain feel separated, the mind is ticking but the body is behind. A step to the left.
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