Intensity

Sex. Still having it, lots of it.

I am getting closer to being able to come with the boy. It’s pretty awesome. He made me come whilst going down on me, it’s been a while since that has happened. It’s been a frustrating time getting close to someone, letting go of inhibitions and getting over the damage that anti-depressants had.

Sex has been exciting. We like a little power play and a little light bondage. Restraints. He tied both of my hands to my bed and told me to kneel. Hot. Sex has been like this. I am allowed to be submissive, I am allowed to switch if I want. We move between rough and tender.

The boys orgasms have been intense lately. The holding off works best for the both of us, prolonging play, waiting to penetrate. The way I like it. Teasing. When he comes I feel it, inside of me, an intensity. Awesome. We are both getting what we want.

I do eventually want to bring in some anal play, he also. It is me that is holding off on this, it takes trust and time to get to this. Or, it is I that want the time to trust with this. This will intensely push me to orgasm. But I am not ready to give this over yet. Soon.

I am trying to not close up, something I am not used to. Being allowed to fulfill my desires has been amazingly frightening. So many partners that have denied me this, showed disinterest when I would want to pleasure myself. Asked why I would want my toy. Or simply come in me and roll over and fall asleep, that they were done. I was left feeling like I couldn’t and that there was something wrong with me. With this boy it is different, he says I want to make you come, and reassures me that we’ll get there, listens to me and understands me when I say, it’s just going to take time and that’s OK. He waits for me, he tells me that he’s going to come soon. Lets me tell him to hold on or it’s OK, come.

I crave time with him.

Last night, he softly pushed me up against the wall, we were outside having a cigarette, he runs his hands up my sides, under my t-shirt, intently, he kisses me, pushing against my body and his hands move up to my breasts. This sends chills through my spine, and I am heady with attraction. I want him.